the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
