Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
