i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
