GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
