How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
