I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
