Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
