he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
