Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
