You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
