we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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