is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
