wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
