I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize