everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she looked like the before picture.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
