Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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