things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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