She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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