he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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