Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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