he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize