Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
