He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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