hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
