i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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