We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
