Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
