I wish I only lived at night.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
