Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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