wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
