hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize