I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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