My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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