i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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