god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
