idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
okay pat passed out under dana's car
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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