Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
