I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
