My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
