go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
