She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I need moral support for this bender
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
