I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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