Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
