My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
