Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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