it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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