He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
