Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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