Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
