Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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