john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize