I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
