sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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