I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
we should paint friendship bongs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
