I love black thongs
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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